People seem to like me because I'm polite and I'm rarely late, I like to eat ice cream and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks

home message about me the netwerk

pizzadelivery:

my school has this fb page where students can sell their old stuff and i’ve been laughing at this girl’s post for 85 years

amoying:

amoying:

what if one day you woke up and your hands were bananas

what if my text posts came true

BE CAREFUL OF WHAT YOU WISH FOR BECAUSE YOU JUST MIGHT GET IT

24,354 notes - reblog

reginasmom:

i could not consciously go to bed tonight without reblogging this

tastefullyoffensive:

#justouttheshower[via]

first day of spring, they said.

70,553 notes - reblog

special-snowflake-hall-of-fame:

abhortion:

atheistrose:

domesticabusewillsaveusall:

So awkward.
I walked past a cemetery when I was walking home and like… I’m alive so… yea.

It was so awkward when I was walking home because I walked past a nursing home and like….I’m not old so….yea

It was so awkward when I was walking home because I walked past a river and like….I’m not a fish so….yea

It was so awkward when I was walking home because I walked past a car dealership and like….I’m not an automobile so….yea

218801:

buttercup looks like Hitler

MEIN DIAPER IST POOPY.

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